update update

udah sekian minggu gue ngga posting lagi. boro boro posting ngecek blog juga ngga. karna lebihs ering buka facebook dan twitter. tapi gue udah pengen ganti skin aja. hm, susah jadi orang bosenan.

well, besides the rare update, i had so much fun today.

yeah setelah sekian lama ngga bisa, akhirnya tadi gue ujan ujanan sampe puas. yah, belom begitu puas juga sih, tadi cuma bentar ujan ujanannya, yang bikin lama main airnya haha. untung banget tadi pagi gue niat bawa baju ganti buat badmin tapi belom ganti baju. sialnya gue ngga sekalian bawa celana ganti. padahal kalo tadi gue ngga ikut main air dari kran, celana gue lah yang paling basah. setelah main air dari kran dengan 'kedok' hujan buatan baru baju gue bener bener basah (untung deh ah gue pake baju item tadi).
tadi gue juga sempet jatoh dan bikin ukiran baru di dengkul gue. haha kapan lagi dengkul gue luka? jadi inget waktu kecil di dengkul gue mau kiri atau kanan pasti ada perban karna gue ngga bisa diem lari larian mulu.

dan baru tadi gue ngerasain yang namanya ketawa bebas lagi tanpa beban setelah sekian lama. akhirnya gue bisa ketawa lepas selepas lepasnya kaya waktu gue smp dulu. waktu belom dirundung banyak pikiran dan beban kaya sekarang ini. ketawa yang bener bener dari hati karna gue seneng dan bareng temen temen gue. it's not my fake laugh which came out dear.

sampe sekarang masih belom ketauan tadi gue ujan ujanan, haha. begitu sampe rumah untungnya nyokap gue lagi tidur, gue cepet cepet masukin handuk yang tadi gue bawa sama baju basah tadi ke keranjang pakaian. yang ngeliat cuma bokap sih tapi ngga ditanyain, ahay.
abis itu gue langsung mandi dan makan. entah kenapa pas makan kepala gue udah kerasa berat banget. badan gue juga panas. akhirnya gue paksain tidur selimutan. dan begitu bangun sekarang, radang gue yang makin parah. nice. kalo radang udah akut namanya apa?

i love today!

by the way, i started to make a fiction. gue nyoba nyoba ngarang cerita lagi setelah gagal sekian kali. stuck terus di awal. masih mending orang orang stuck di pertengahan ya gue di awal. haha.
tapi entah kenapa gue cukup yakin sama cerita gue yang ini.

i've been inspired by this song :

Little change of the heart
Little light in the dark
Little hope that you just might find your way up out of here
‘Cause you’ve been hiding for days
Wasted and wasting away
But I got a little hope that today you’ll face your fears

Yeah I know that it’s not easy
I know that it’s so hard
Follow the lights to the city

And get up andGo, take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don’t look back just go,
Take a breath, move along
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on

Believe the tunnel can end
Believe your body can mend
Yeah I know you can make it through‘Cause I believe in you
So let’s go put up a fight
Let’s go make everything alright
Go on and take a shot go give it all you got

Oh yeah I know that it’s not easy
I know that it’s hard
Yeah it’s not always pretty

Get up and go,
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life falling on
Don’t look back just go,
Take a breath and move along
You could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on

Don’t wanna wake up to the telephone ring
Are you sitting down?
I need to tell you something
Enough is enough, you can stop waiting to breathe
And don’t wait up for me

Get up and goTake a chance and be strong
You can spend your whole life holding on
Don’t look back just go
Take a breath and move along
You could spend your whole life holding on

Get up and go
Take a chance and be strong
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
Don’t look back just go
Take a breath, move along
Or you could spend your whole life holding on
You could spend your whole life holding on
Don’t spend your whole life holding on
Yeah

[ Boys Like Girls - Go ]

kenapa lagu ini yang jadi inspirasi gue?
yah, mungkin karna lagu ini agak menggambarkan kehidupan gue *cih*. yah karna gue suka liriknya. and it gives me support eventhough i still can't trust myself.
" .. believe the tunnel can end. believe the body can mend .. "

if i believe, can it change my past and my future?
can it fix my secret trauma?