great day with my favorite Preist

Monday, November 23rd 2009

yesterday was really great.
okay, it's not that great at all. but finally i've found something that can fix my mood again. something that also can fix my feel that usually hard to be fixed when i've got it worst in the morning.


Saturday, November 21st 2009

my mind was really heavy. my heart could not get calm. i was really stressed out. when i came home i locked myself on my room. turn the music to the highest volume and screams out loud through the lyrics. suddenly my tears are running down on my face. it was really hurt when you had tried hard for your success but when you get a lil bit failed, people whom you believe did not appreciate your work. if they said it's not enough even though you've tried your best. then they blame another activity you're active on. said that it does not help me to increase my report score.

i was thinking. so what if i love to do that activity? if i enjoyed it more than i enjoy studying at class?

so, why they keep blaming at me? i really had no idea. i hate it. i hate when the ask me, but i got no words to explain them what my answer is.

i locked myself till 09.30 PM
finally i opened it, i went downstairs and take a bath. my mom forced me to eat my dinner even though i really don't want to eat. then i drank my pills and get back to my bedroom.
but my mom came to my room and ask about tomorrow's plan. i refused it cause i was too tired to debate. she kept complaining while she took care of my lil sisters. i wore headset and turn the music out loud from my cellphone. try to ignore everything but the music.
and i failed.
i cried once again. silently. so they don't have to know.
i cried myself to sleep just like a little crybaby. damn.


Sunday, November 22nd 2009

i woke up in the morning. still had the same feeling like the last night. worst mood, worst feel. but i know that i'm going to curch. so i took a bath, had a little breakfast and went to the curch.
when we almost arrived there's some bad thing happened between me and my dad. i made my mood getting worse.

i entered the curch, i took a seat that far enough from my dad, but still in the same row.
and i was really surprised cause the mass eucharist led by the Cardinal Bishops. that's what i heard on the announcement. then when the Cardinal Bishops was came in, he accompanied by some Priests. one of them is my favorite Priest.
when the mass eucharist began, i sang the song happily. it was really made my heart became peaceful.
during the process of receiving the sacrament of the eucharist, i also get in to the front even though i haven't been baptism as Catholic yet. i receive eucharist bless from my favorite Preist. he put his hand on my forehead and smiled so gently. he blessed me. it made my heart became more peaceful.

and that was my great day :)

i love you my Priest as my intermediary to Jesus. :)