i want to be ...

i want to be able hiding my mood.
so no can know that i'm crying inside.
and i don't have to tell them why.
cause i'd rather hide it from people and don't want to show it.
i hate when they force me to tell them.
this is my way to live my life, even it's the worst way
no one can change it cause i don't want to change it


i want to be able to control the weather.
so i can make it rains every single time i want to.
cause i love when the rain falls.
i love to see those ashes on the street washed by the raindrops.
and i'll make it pours harder if i'm crying.
so my tears will cover by the raindrops.
and no one will know that the tears are running down on my face.
cause it has been erased by the raindrops when i walk in the street


i want to be able to control the time.
so i can turn it back to the time when i feel the happiness.
then i can stop it to the time i want to be.
when everyday i wake up, i can feel alive.
cause i know that the day will be fun and full of surprises
and i don't have to be this blind
cause i don't want to face every single time.
with this full of fear dying soul


i want to have memories like photograph.
so i can remember every single moment clearly.
and when i'm flashing back all those moments
i can see it like i'm turning those pages on photo album
i can see those faces smile at me when we were together
and i can see myself when my face curved a big smile
i can see we were having fun even at the worst time ever

i want to be invisible sometimes.
and i don't have to face everyday with this dying ugly faces
and they can't see my swell eyes
and they won't ask why or see me like i'm a clown inside the show
cause they just can't see me crying
and they won't know if i'm standing next to them