one

i need one day.
alone.
in someplace but here.
silence
no noise
no people.
a place where i can see the whole skies
without bright sunlight.
and the wind blows carefully.
so it's just me.
the fresh air.
the trees.
the grass.
and the music playing on my ear.

a place where i can shout my madness out

where i can yell my feeling out

without somebody's judge

without feeling guilty

where i can talk to God, not secretly

nobody can hear me but Him.

where i can cry every time i want

without worrying what they would say

where i can laugh as loud as i want

without thinking what they would see me like

place where i can stand barely

without any walls that hide myself

and those masks which cover my emotions

so i can show my sad face angry face or even happy face

and for the first time i will be just like myself

without hiding or faking something

and wouldn't be afraid anymore

cause there're no people, just myself

just me

alone

in somplace

but here

silence

no people's talking

just the music fill the air

with the wind's blow

and shy sunlight

covered by so many clouds

and nobody could annoys me

LAKNAT

mood gue rusak hari ini.
padahal kemaren malem udah seneng seneng banget karna dapet kesempatan yang ngga gue duga. ya gue berhasil foto bareng Romo Ardi sebelom dia berangkat ke Aussie hari ini. well, really last chance. tapi gue nekat. yeah


eh tadi siang dirusak cuma gara gara masalah rok.
wey, rok gue ngga tinggi ye. lo mau tanggung jawab kalo gue jatoh terus gara gara rok yang udah panjang musti dipanjangin lagi? lo kira enak pake rok panjang gitu hah? gerah gue! ngga betah! ngeganggu langkah! gue biasanya emang langkahnya gede, malah ketahan gara gara rok panjang laknat. apa bedanya sih rok semata kaki sama rok beberapa senti di atas mata kaki? toh ngga setinggi orang orang yang lain. lagijuga tujuan gue mendekin dikit itu rok bukan karna ikut ikutan yang lain tapi emang gue ngga mau jatoh terus.
naik tangga pake rok panjang ribet wey! gue udah keserimpet berapa kali? bahkan sampe nginjek rok sendiri.

worst

entah musti ngapain dah gue.
besok ulangtahun. harusnya seneng. ya, harusnya. dan normalnya. tapi yang gue rasain sekarang ngga karuan.

kemaren udah kacau, sekarang kacau juga. apa besok harus lebih kacau?

kemaren gue nangis, terus ketawa. bisa tiba tiba nangis lagi, terus ketawa lagi. bego ya, haha mana ada orang abis nangis langsung ketawa, terus tiba tiba bisa nangis lagi. makanya gue bilang kacau.

hari ini juga kacau. masa dari senyum, ketawa ketawa, eh udah gitu murung lagi. jangankan gue, orang lain aja ngeliatnya pasti aneh. 'gila kali nih orang, tadi ketawa terus tiba tiba murung.'

tauk lah, bodo amat.
perasaan gue emang lagi ngga karuan.